Doubt

When doubt creeps in to steal the show, you feel that you really don’t know. When it stops you from moving on, sets your mind to all or none from self-belief to disbelief, the distance is only brief. The unknown thief, falls like a leaf, no motive or brief.

Wrong decisions seem harder than procrastination, but still you don’t get to your destination. Setback and derailment, other people you come to resent, pride and confidence takes more than a dent. Want to give up as you are spent but in side you don’t relent. Tough it out sulk and pout., hoping more words will fall out.

Maximum effort little return, I carry on in discern. Mulling over my decisions brain and heart in collision, shooting each other with derision. Each one wants to give up the mission. Some will say it’s weak, or that I am just meek. Reassurance and truth is all I seek. To know that truly my work is great and people really do appreciate, not feeling bad and alienate. Wish I could believe myself when I wake in the morning and say I’m great.

 

Deserted Street

Men and boys say good bye all know the reason why. Called up to serve in a war they don’t deserve on the front line, not reserves. Whole Streets fighting together as a regiment. Swathes of streets empty of men who will never return. Desolate streets no dads to greet, no sons to hug mums, just dear Johns, to all the friends you meet.

Workers side by side, they all came for the same ride, work as a team one unbreakable seam, and go down with a scream. Waste of men and boys who will never know life, but briefly met strife. No guns fired or fixed Bayonet charge, the enemy is still at large. Longing for home, their bed and clean sheets, seeing their families again and walking down those deserted streets.

In their heads, their family implanted safe return not taken for granted. Over the top their turn to drop, an entire street, downed by men from an unpronounceable town. Leaving heart ache in a deserted English Street. Mothers cry, children wonder why, when the officer drops by house after house on the same Street, tears and sadness at each one they meet, finally leaving the deserted Street.

Magic Weaver

Lost in your shadow, your billowing love, free as a bird, not pure as a dove. Come find me tonight, in the dim candle light, open your mind and dictate my plight. Make me tingle and writhe in pleasure, let me feel your warmth and caress in good measure. Run your fingers through my hair, down my body and anywhere you dare. Let passion flare, you won’t scare.

Tempt me with your fruit, make my passage to it an easy route. Caress my body with your lips, work your magic with your hips, make me scream in your magic dreams. Love me until I am coming apart at the seams, until I can take no more, but pleasure screams. When you think my body has had enough, come find me again a little rough.

Send me to heaven, open the gate, don’t make me anticipate. Lay with me in the afterglow, my body twitching, sending a signal of contentment so you know, you have been responsible for setting me alight and making me feel high as a kite. I want to weave magic with you every night.

 

 

Nomad 

I am a nomad no fixed abode, always on the road. Moving from place to place never knowing what I may face. My home on my back my hole world in a pack, always going forward never looking back. Nomadic and free I can be me and people will say who’s he. No one knows me just let me be for I have places to see.

Odd jobs for a couple of Bob, food and a bed to lay my head. Lasting friends that I will never see again, life with no pain. Walking miles agony and smiles, keep moving, never stay still, come and go at my will. Hot and cold I walk so bold no one to have and hold, just memories and stories of adventures that unfold. 

Very content in Hut or tent, but sleeping out under the stars noises echo from afar. Sand in my shoe, and the twilight hue, sunsets clue. Maybe one day I will meet you. Find a safe place to hide my face and sleep until the day is new. 

Anxiety

Secret feelings flash in your head, mulling over all that was said. Blaming yourself, filled with dread, head still running lying in bed. Insecure low demure, long road to get a cure. Want to run, but legs on stun, no let up when darkness comes. Anxious to please, the day I want to seize. Heart beats fast, sweating palms, why won’t my feelings calm.

Antidepressants, there’s still no effervescence, side effects not pleasant. Counselling room once a week, finding it hard to speak, stony silence, eyes gaze internal struggle it’s such a muddle, would prefer a cuddle. Reading books about black dogs and fog, read someone’s blog.

Mental health label of stealth, stigma seen as an enigma, dangerous person, things with you will only worsen. Media hype a load of tripe, branding all for actions of a group so small. See me as I am, not as the only man, talk to me like I’m all right, honestly, I don’t bite. Help me from this dark shadow into the light, where I can be me and feel alright.

 

I Wonder

I wonder what it feels like to put my arms around you when I’m feeling blue, tucked up under the covers just me and you. I wonder what it would be like to hold your hand as we walk barefoot across the sand. I long to stare in to your eyes and hear contented sighs. I wonder what it would be like to feel your bare skin, to laugh and joke while drinking whiskey or gin. I long to see the sunlight glinting in your hair, and imagine what you feel like when I am not there.

I wonder if you dream as well and if you would really care, I long to see your inner side and your artistic flare. I yearn to see the moon light flicker off your dress, to ask you on a date and hope that you say yes.

I wonder if I feature in your dreams at night, I never thought I ever would but now I think I might. And do you see my name and wonder if we would be right, is it just a pipe dream in the cold harsh reality of light. Would you return my phone call and send messages of love, written with your fair hand in a silky glove?

I guess what I’m asking is would you feel love, could we be together like two snow-white doves, when the dark days come around would our love still be sound. I often sit and wonder what it would be like to go out for a day, sunbathing in a field nibbling on some hay. Finally, I wonder if you would even look up when I say I want to sip from your cup.

Witches Coven

witches coven

Witches gather as a coven plotting deeds by the dozen, making spells from potions and smells, ready to cast them on boys and girls. Black clad with rickety hands, long crooked noses not smelling of roses. Each witch chops, the ingredients to mix the elixir, potions of death and one that will fix you. Eye of bat, leg of toad, they won’t break this practice code.

They chant and cast their spells as the caldron boils and swells. Off on their broomsticks to create hell. Wizened old ladies with secrets to tell, magic potions and sinister spells, lots of things to buy and sell.

When their work is done, before the rise of the sun, they scurry away to their own little hovels, they settle in bed with a spell book or novel.

 

​Ode to a Poet

Some days you’re a poet and you don’t know it. Some days you’re a poet and everyone knows it. Some days your poems touch hearts and amaze. Sometimes they are a bit of a haze. You write by day and by night trying to get the words to come out right.
You hope that published you might be, getting the coverage is the key. You can right about anything: who will be queen and who will be king;  she loves me and even what you had for tea. You can be serious and make a plea, or light hearted or talk about how you got started.

Then comes the blog, hard to write when your brain is a fog. But every day you pound away trying not to cause to much dismay, questioning whether your’s is the right way. Struggling to write something new each day.

Finally your piece is finished, put it on line or just bin it. Wait for the likes the comments and follows to come in. Hope that you can do better tomorrow. The audience love it they like it a lot are they just being nice or not. Alas this is a poets lot whether we like it or not. We hit the issue straight on the spot or we write a great load of rot. When we are old and in our last days those words will live on and continue to amaze. So if you are a poet whether you know it or not, give your self praise each day cos being a poet is your way.

Meditation

 

 

yogaSitting in silence in the middle of the room, eyes are shut but colours come with a boom. Empty my mind of the daily grind but wonder what I will find. Music rifts drift seeping into my soul, rain drops trickle onto a metal bowl. my body has long since left it’s just me and my thoughts and my shallow breaths.

I let the nothing flow over into my head, no words are said, just images of the past. Rose garden with fountains and trees, where nothing moves fast. Victorian ladies wander with parasols like lost souls. I  drink from the fountain, water pure and cold, lit by the sun glistening and gold; this is an image I want to hold. My brain has escaped my body is cold, yet I feel safe and bold. It’s time to leave the garden via the gate, as I come down from my meditation state, paradise will have to wait

Slowly counting myself down, back in the room in the centre of town. Back to reality and all its gloom, settled mind, its back in the room. Light in the head, in a bit of a daze, the rose garden is now just a haze. Back to reality and life’s tangled maze

Shadow of Doom

horsemen2

 

In the dark and desolate land, I felt someone take my hand. I shuddered and my heart quickened as their grip on me thickened. I’m rooted to the spot turning cold from hot. Shadows engulf me, darkening the night, they left me wondering, as I could not fight. Fear was here and I dare not peer at your face, I’m just rooted in this one place.

Pull me forward with a start, beats missing from my heart. Walk me to the valley of death, an ill wind blows like your breath. In the valley of skeletons and skulls the fear and pain will finally annul, vailing me in your cloak, squeezing me tight, while I choke.

The world is black and the end is near, why did you bring me here? no light is present and this is not pleasant, all I can see is the moon’s crescent. Then as the life ebbs out of me, suddenly, you make me see.

For I will return not as an angel but as the devil, ready to devour and to dishevel. This is the end of the angel in me, now I have Satan riding with me, watching death and destruction with glee. The horsemen of the apocalypse and one of them is me.

Riding my mount with great speed, of the earth I must feed. Destroying with waves from the sea, fire and brimstone set light to the trees, death and destruction for all to see what happens when you mess with Satan and me.