Sitting here it’s quiet or it should be, Tinnitus is troubling me. The constant wringing in my ear let’s me know it’s still here. When it’s quiet or I go to sleep up it let’s the volume creep until this crescendo peeks with pops and bangs and then it hangs right here in the middle of my ear.

My hearing goes and sometimes i don’t know what you say. Lip reading, getting the gist, back filling and finger spelling get me through the day, helping me know what you say. Talk clearly and steady but please don’t talk like I’m a baby carrying a teddy.

When it’s noisy I can’t hear, just the buzzing in my ear, my hearing aid for which the NHS Paid, helps a bit it makes it fade. But once it’s out the ringing is back like some sort of raid. It’s worse at night when my head is laid and eyes shut tight.

Then there’s a knock or a bang I wake with a fright wording if I should run or fight. No one else heard the noise, I regain my poise and realise it’s all in my head. I lay on the bed filled with dread about the rest of the night ahead.


On the Edge of Sleep

On the edge of sleep not going too deep where awake and unconsciousness meet. Where dreams are starting to seep into and out of low level sleep. Images come and go, no one familiar, no one you know. 

Body heavy unable to move, myoclonic twitches permeate the being in a sensory world no one else is seeing . Streams of light and colour tainted by darkness flash in the mind in a world on the edge of sleep, this world in which I would like to keep. My breathing is slow and deep inside in my parallel universe just short of sleep. 

I stir at noise and regain my poise hoping to drift back to that place on the edge, where darkness settles it’s head, when it’s needing it’s bed. Moments of panic, not knowing where I am, back in the real world on the edge of my mind. Yearning to return to that place again, that safe place from where I came. The place where no one drives you insane, the place I go to again and again.

Just to Be


Close my eyes and listen to my breathing, my heart slows but is still beating. Darkness dispersed with colours, silence whirring in my ears.

Sitting here Being just me just able to just be. Connected with my earth connected in the universe, yet heading into insignificance. Mind empty no fog, nothing at all just being part of it all. Body relaxed muscles so limp and heavy.

Breathing in and out I feel naught, nothing is there nothing to scare, just to be there, yet I feel I’m not, just feel the cold and feel hot. I’m just being me and learning just to be.



cup of coffee

Make it large or make it small maybe short or maybe tall, drink it at home or in the mall. Coffee can be had with love and even when you are in a mood best of all you can have coffee with your food

Black, white frothy or flat have it alone or with a friend for a chat. Morning afternoon and night coffee any time is just right

It keeps you awake and bright, it calms you down when you have had a fright in the middle of the night.

Coffee can be wrong or right dark or light in a mug or from a cup calm you down or pick you up. Coffee is fine any time.


Bogged Down



My head is like quicksand today trying to write but it won’t come. No water flowing, ideas coming then going, my brain is just a sponge full of grunge.

My pen keeps moving but it’s losing the battle to make a poem rattle. loads of ideas in between my ears but can’t get them on paper tonight.

My brain is in a bog and I need to write my blog, but it’s just a clog, my brain is a fog it’s such a slog. So, forgive me today if you don’t like what I say. I can’t guarantee what will appear from the fog but whatever it is it’s on my blog. Oh, how I hate brain fog and being stuck in this bog.

Love Is


Love is fluid yet does not move, love is here with me and you, love can conquer any woe but love can also go.

Love is a feeling in your head sometimes it lands up in your bed. Love is all about words but not everything has to be heard.

Love is about being in tune thinking the same thing when you are not in the same room. Love is about me and you.

Love is about being strong and weak, love never reaches a peak but love can leak. Love is there even when we don’t speak.

Love is tactile and free love is full of glee. Love is all around us and gets in your hair and love gets everywhere it hits from head to foot and never tarnishes with soot.

Day at the Zoo

Monkeys swinging and rolling at play camels munching at yellow hay. Elephants squirting and trumpeting water to wash their back they are safe from slaughter. 
Flamingos all pink stand on one leg like a skater on an ice rink. There is the hippo so big and tough chewing on grass that’s bare and rough. Then on to the bears eating apples and pears brown fury coats and long claws on the end of their big paws. 

Mearkats scurry in a hurry stand tall to be seen by all. Then the lions lazing around until food arrives then they will bound. Majestic mains on this wild cat king of the plains. Leopards with spots lick tiny drops from the leaves through the trees he weaves. 

On to the, reptiles lizards all scaly and still as a statues, a roving eye that’s looking at you. On to the spiders so deadly and big some are that hairy they look like a wig. The crocodile has teeth so sharp one snap from them and your up to your knee I hope he doesn’t fancy me for tea. 

Snakes that slither and slide along their hissing like an hypnotic song. Out into daylight oh so bright there’s the penguins on the right. 

Slipping and sliding into the water they go darting around to and fro waiting for fish that the Zoo keepers throw.

The final animal that we see is not quite as big as you and me. The giant tortoise slow and lethargic never in a hurry, very old these creatures are, to big to hold but carry their shell on their back so bold it helps protect them from hot and cold. 

Now all the people young and old leave in their cars they go off to there homes, a steady flow. What happens at night we don’t know but the Zoo keepers are friendly though.